Which Pasta Dish Matches Your Star Sign?

Right Lezzers, ah Ken it’s been a while. It’s been a dramatic few weeks in the spirit world. Anyhoo Mystic Morag and Madame LaBia have been busy in the kitchen.

So here you go….Which Pasta Dish Matches Your Star Sign?

Aquarius – Pesto Pasta
Made from basil, pine nuts and the belief that rules are merely suggestions. Green, unconventional and insists it’s “artisan.” Has probably grown the basil themselves and will tell you all about it.

Pisces – Seafood Linguine
A mixture of prawns, mussels, calamari and emotions. One minute calm as the North Sea, the next greeting because someone forgot to put a heart reaction on their message.

Aries – Arrabbiata
Tomatoes, garlic, chilli and absolutely no patience. The more chilli you add, the more accurate it becomes. Will argue that it’s “no even spicy” while everyone else is reaching for the milk.

Taurus – Macaroni Cheese
Made from approximately 97% cheese, butter and happiness. Rich, comforting and refuses to apologise for taking the biggest portion. If there’s crispy cheese round the edge, they’re claiming it.

Gemini – Pasta Salad
Pasta, peppers, olives, sweetcorn, cucumber, cheese… honestly, it’s whatever was left in the fridge. Every bite is different. Just like every conversation with a Gemini.

Cancer – Lasagne
Layers of pasta, mince, béchamel and feelings. Looks strong on the outside but poke it once and the whole thing collapses into an emotional puddle.

Leo – Truffle Tagliatelle
Butter, parmesan, truffle and just a wee touch of showing off. Costs three times as much as everything else and somehow thinks that’s perfectly reasonable.

Virgo – Spaghetti Bolognese
Every ingredient carefully measured. Garlic finely chopped, herbs perfectly balanced, parmesan grated with military precision. Secretly judging anyone who breaks spaghetti in half.

Libra – Ravioli
Can’t even decide what’s inside them. Spinach? Ricotta? Mushroom? Beef? Stands in Tesco staring at the chilled aisle for forty minutes weighing up the options.

Scorpio – Squid Ink Pasta
Black as your ex’s soul. Looks mysterious, stains everything it touches and leaves everyone wondering what just happened. Surprisingly unforgettable.

Sagittarius – Penne
Those wee tubes are always ready for whatever sauce turns up. Creamy? Tomato? Pesto? Doesn’t matter. They’ll happily jump in the car and see where the day takes them.

Capricorn – Gnocchi
Just tatties, flour and hard work. Doesn’t need fancy ingredients to get the job done. Quietly dependable and carrying the whole meal while everyone else takes the credit.