What Film Character Would You All Be?

We have enjoyed our film nights. Got Madame LaBia and Mystic Morag thinking about what film character you would all be?

We have spoken to some departed Hollywood elites in the spirit realm and here ya go.

Aquarius, Doc Brown
Always five conversations ahead of everyone else. Comes up with brilliant ideas at 2am, forgets half of them by breakfast, then insists the other half will “change everything.” Doesn’t follow the crowd because they’re too busy inventing a completely different route. Frequently mistaken for being eccentric when they’re actually just operating on a frequency nobody else can tune into.

Pisces, Dory
Emotional support human for everybody else… while their own life resembles a wheelie bin on fire. Loses their phone daily despite it being in their hand. Falls in love because someone smiled at them in Aldi.

Aries, The Incredible Hulk
Has two settings: lovely… and “who ate my last Tunnock’s?” Starts arguments at Olympic speed then ten minutes later asks if everyone fancies a chippy like nothing happened. Lives permanently one minor inconvenience away from going full Glasgow kiss.

Taurus, Jabba the Hutt
Won’t move once they’ve found a comfy chair. Plans every social event around food. Says they’re “just resting their eyes” then wakes up three hours later wondering why everyone’s gone home.

Gemini, The Mask
Different personality depending who’s standing in front of them. Can argue both sides of the same debate and somehow win both. If gossip were an Olympic sport they’d have enough gold medals to sink a ferry. It’s all about them.

Cancer, Gollum
“It’s fine… I’m not upset.”
Translation: they’ll remember that one slightly sarcastic comment until the heat death of the universe. Collects emotional injuries like other people collect fridge magnets.

Leo, Regina George
Not technically a film hero… but definitely believes they’re the main character. Says, “I don’t like attention,” while wearing enough leopard print to be seen from the International Space Station. Takes 147 selfies to post one captioned “Just threw this on.”

Virgo, Hermione Granger
Corrects grammar during an argument. Has backup plans for the backup plans. Goes on holiday carrying enough medication, chargers and paperwork to survive the collapse of civilisation. Secretly believes everyone else is an administrative burden.

Libra, Scarlett O’Hara
Creates drama, then asks why everyone’s so dramatic. Takes longer choosing what to order than the chef took to qualify. Would rather starve than admit they picked the wrong restaurant.

Scorpio, Darth Vader
Remembers every betrayal since Primary 3. Says “I’m over it” with the conviction of someone actively planning your funeral playlist. Can reduce grown adults to silence with one raised eyebrow.

Sagittarius, Ace Ventura
Has absolutely no indoor voice. Books spontaneous adventures then remembers halfway there they’ve forgotten their purse, phone and common sense. Thinks every terrible idea starts with, “This’ll be a laugh.”

Capricorn, Miranda Priestly
Running the entire operation because everyone else appears to have the organisational skills of a damp teabag. Doesn’t micromanage, they simply know nobody else will do it properly. Gives compliments so rarely people consider framing them.